trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize