Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
