that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
