WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
