Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize