you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
