Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I think people are normalizing furries
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Randomize
