I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Randomize
