Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
