Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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