Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
