Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
