FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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