you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Randomize
