Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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