a queef is a wish your heart makes.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize