your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
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