we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Randomize
