Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
