found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
