great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
