the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
