dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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