The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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