you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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