so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
