she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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