The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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