Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
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