Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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