Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
