I like my sex mixed with concussions.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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