He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Randomize
