Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
