I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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