Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
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