just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
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