I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
