I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
