Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
