you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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