Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
