You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
