Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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