i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
