its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
