I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
