am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
