The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
