apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
It was like giving head to a cactus.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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