Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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