i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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