It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I think my fart just growled at me.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
