he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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