you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
