the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
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