I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
