i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize