plz talk dirty to me
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
