My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Randomize
