Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Moan for me like Helen Keller
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
