Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
