I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
You took a bar mat shot.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Randomize
