I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
