Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I'm bleeding and have questions
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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