Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
