would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Holy sore nipples Batman
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
