absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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