Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
